


Scar Tissue

by fatins_toothbrush



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, F/F, Gun Violence, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Russian Roulette, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, angst means angst, dave goodkind is extra unhinged
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatins_toothbrush/pseuds/fatins_toothbrush
Summary: Shelby's dad finds out.  Set a couple months after everyone is off the island and home.Well this got DARK...
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 163
Kudos: 390





	1. Chapter 1

_They had been careful,_ Shelby assured herself as she adjusted her eyes to the sight of her father standing at the foot of her bed, arms crossed. 

_They had been careful,_ she told herself again. She had been careful. She’d saved Toni’s name in her phone as the church friend her father was fond of. They’d never spoken on the phone or had video calls unless she was home alone, or in her car, or unless she knew everyone in the house was asleep. She was quiet. They had been careful. 

Shelby finally allowed her eyes to meet her fathers. The look in his eyes was a look she had only seen once before. It was the look he had given her back then, back when Becca was alive, back when she made her promise to him. She knew that look. They hadn’t been careful enough. 

‘Mornin’ Daddy,’ she drawled in her thick, southern accent, trying not to seem phased. 

Her father didn’t respond. She slowly slid her hand under her pillow, reaching for where she had left her phone. It was gone. 

‘You looking for this?’ Her father asked coldly, unfolding his arms to reach into his back pocket. 

Shelby could do nothing but stare gravely at her phone as he threw it on the bed. She saw the flash of her notifications. 

**Sarah – Church  
2 iMessages **

‘Don’t worry Shelb, I haven’t been on there.’ Her father said, reading the confusion on her face when she realised her phone hadn’t been unlocked since she last used it. 

‘I don’t need to witness your sins to know what’s going on under my roof,’ he spat.

‘D-daddy, I don’t know what you’re talki-'

‘You know damn well what I’m talking about Shelby,’ his voice grew louder with each word as Shelby bit the inside of her mouth sharply. ‘You know damn well! You haven’t been able to look me in the damn eye since you got home.’ 

It was true. For all the pretences Shelby had put on since her return home, that was one she couldn’t manage. 

‘I had my suspicions for weeks now,’ he continued, his face getting redder and his hands more animated with each passing second. ‘So, I cashed in on a favour Deputy Barnes owed me.’ 

Shelby suddenly became very aware that she had been holding her breath for too long. 

‘He showed me your phone records Shelby. Hundreds of calls at all hours to a phone number in Minnesota,’ his words fell from his mouth with a force Shelby had never heard before. ‘And I don’t think I need to guess who lives there.’ 

Shelby stayed quiet, frozen. 

‘I knew from the moment I saw that girl when we picked you up. The way she was lookin’ at me, like _I_ was a sinner,’ he continued. His face now turning from red to purple.

He was right. Shelby remembered how Toni had looked at him, how she couldn’t hide the disgust in her face after their conversations on the island. 

‘That girl has the devil in her Shelby, and you-’

‘NO!’ She cut him off, rising to her feet before she could realise what she was doing. ‘No. She is a good person. She is kind, and she makes me ha-’

Her speech was interrupted by a heavy blow to her cheek. It came fast and viciously, knocking her down cleanly. 

‘You swore to me!’ Her father screamed. ‘You swore on the bible!’

Shelby palmed at her cheek, checking her hand for blood as she brought it away from her face. 

It was quiet for a while. The only sound was Shelby’s laboured breathing as she tried to compose herself. 

‘I know that things have been stressful for you Shelb,’ his voice was calmer now, though she could still here the hatred seeping through his words. ‘I know that it’s been hard, and that the Lord can test us.’ 

He knelt down, his face inches away from hers.

‘But we cannot let the demons win, and I will not give up on my child just yet.’ 

He reached his hand out to caress the swelling already blossoming on Shelby’s face, but she pulled away sharply. He scoffed at her rejection, rising to his feet and heading towards her bedroom door to leave. 

‘For a good, Christian man, I know my fair share of unholy souls,’ he said, now leaning against his daughter’s doorframe. 

Shelby glanced up at him for the first time in a while, her eyes struggling to focus on his figure from the headache his strike had caused. She was confused as to where this new monologue was headed. 

‘I’m just saying that I meet people from all walks of life in my line of work, Shelb. I meet people so desperate to enter the gates of heaven, but, between you and me, given some of the sins these people have confessed to me. After hearing some of the things they’ve done,’ he drawled, the hatred that earlier filled his eyes now a self-assured gleam. ‘These people, these men, there’s no reforming these souls, not after the things they’ve done. And I would just hate for any of these violent, depraved criminals to find out someone had been hurting my baby girl, leading her down the wrong path, y’know?’ 

Shelby’s eyes were fixed on his now, attempting to gage if he was bluffing. She knew that he wasn’t.

‘I have a lot of power in this town Shelby, and I don’t think you want another young girls’ blood on your hands.’ 

Shelby widened her gaze at him. Her stomach clenched and a frost of fear spread through her body. 

Her father glanced at her phone that still lay on the bed, then back at her before telling her, ‘I will be back to collect your phone in ten minutes. I suggest you tell your friend goodbye.’ With that, he left, closing her door behind him. 

She didn’t move right away. The fear of his words kept her paralysed for another few moments. Eventually she moved, her legs buckling under her as she stood to pick her phone up. She sat on the edge of the bed and unlocked the device. 

**‘Morning Texas’  
‘Can’t stop dreaming about you’ **

Her eyes filled with silent tears as she glanced over the messages. She blinked hard and began to type her message. The message that would break Toni’s heart, but save her from the hurricane that was Shelby Goodkind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is always appreciated and welcome! i'm kinda making this up as i go along so let me know what you want to see!

_Finally,_ thought Toni as her phone vibrated. 

It was coming up to eleven, which was too late in the day for her and Shelby to start talking. Especially after the dream she’d had of Shelby’s hands around her neck. She’d been pining for her since eight. She unlocked her screen eagerly. 

**‘Toni I’m so sorry. I can’t do this anymore. Things are so different now I’m home again. I can’t keep pretending that I can ever see things between us working out. Our worlds are so different. On the island, everything was so heightened and we let our emotions run wild. Being home has brought me back to reality.’**

‘What the fuck,’ Toni said aloud, causing Martha to glance up from her breakfast. 

**‘I can’t lose myself and who I am for whatever this is. I care about you too much to keep pretending there’s a future here. I’m so sorry Toni.’**

‘What is it?’ Martha asked, eyeing Toni with caution from across the dining table. 

**‘You deserve better than me and I know you’ll find that one day. Please don’t contact me. I need space from you and all the girls from the island.’**

‘Toni?’ Martha narrowed her eyes as she tried to read Toni’s body language, but her friend’s attention stayed transfixed on her phone. 

**‘I need to reconnect with who I really am. I’m so sorry.’**

‘I don’t fucking get it,’ Toni finally said quietly, more to herself than to Martha. 

‘What’s happened?’ Martha asked, starting to sound a little impatient. 

‘Shelby,’ Toni whispered, a physical pain cursing through her body as she said her name. ‘I-, She-’

‘She what Toni?’ Martha urged. 

‘She’s fucking done Marty, she’s fucking ended it,’ Toni snapped, finally looking up at her friend. ‘I knew it. I fucking knew this shit would happen Marty.’ 

‘You serious?’ Martha asked, quickly realising what a dumb fucking question that was based on the look on Toni’s face.

Toni didn’t respond, still looking down at her phone as if staring at the message would cause the words she was reading to change. 

‘Shit, Toni,’ Martha said softly. ‘Shit. I’m sorry.’

Martha shifted in her seat, waiting for an eruption as Toni’s jaw clenched. She had to admit she was pretty taken aback by the events that were unfolding. Over the past few weeks, she’d observed a lot of Toni and Shelby’s long-distance relationship - much more than she may have liked at times. She’d be lying if she said Shelby ever seemed anything other than completely infatuated with Toni.

She was also smart enough to know this was always on the cards. The Shelby that Martha had befriended on the island was not the Shelby that left it. She wasn’t the Shelby she overheard talking to Toni on the phone. That wasn’t to say that only one version of Shelby was the truth, that she couldn’t deeply believe in God and be gay at the same time. Martha just wasn’t entirely surprised that Shelby still needed to figure that out, especially now she was back in her home environment. 

‘Maybe she just needs a little time, Toni,’ Martha offered. ‘To figure stuff out y’know?’ 

Martha waited for an explosion. She watched as Toni swallowed hard, her jaw twitching, bracing herself for the inevitable pound of Toni’s fist against the table, or the choir of profanities she’d grown to expect when Toni was hurt. She waited. 

There was no eruption. Instead, Toni was very still for an unbearably long time, before finally announcing, ‘I’m going back to bed.’ 

\----

The day that followed was almost impossible to survive for Shelby Goodkind. After her father confiscated her phone, she spent the whole day in a trance like state. She sat on her bedroom floor and stared at herself in the mirror until she didn’t recognise her own features. 

She fantasized about running away. She pictured herself scaling down the side of her house from her bedroom window with nothing but her purse and the clothes she was wearing. She pictured herself getting the train to the airport and jumping on the first flight to Toni. She imagined seeing Toni again for the first time, picturing their embrace so vividly that she could almost feel the warmth from Toni’s arms, her head nuzzled into her neck. She thought of being with Toni so fucking hard that she could close her eyes and almost believe they were in the same room, the way she had daily over the past few weeks. 

This time was different though. Her dreams of a reunion were tainted by the sharp throb in her bruised cheek that brought her crashing back to her reality. Instead, all she could feel was overwhelming fear. Fear of the threats her father had spat at her. She thought of the ex-convicts her dad counselled, the ones that weren’t allowed to know where they lived, that Shelby wasn’t even allowed to ask about. She thought about her father’s ‘buddies’ in the police force, the language she’d heard them use so casually when talking about anyone who wasn’t a straight, white Christian. She thought about how much power these men had, how reverently they ruled the small town she resided in. She pictured Toni interacting with these people. She only needed to picture it for a second before she felt her heart in her throat. 

Shelby began to realize that her greatest fear was that of her father himself. The hatred seething through his words that morning, the burn of his hand making contact with her face. She wondered what a man like that was capable of. If he could feel that anger towards his daughter, who he claimed to love more than anything on this Earth, if he could hurt her like that, what could he do to the person he blamed? What could he do to Toni? 

Shelby pushed the thought aside. It was too much to think of anyone hurting Toni, especially her own father. As she cycled through various scenarios in her mind, she realised she was utterly defeated. The only way she could protect Toni was to lose her. And with that knowledge she retreated to her bed and cried like she had never cried before. 

\------

Toni bit her lip until it bled as she tried Shelby’s phone for the fifth time in as many minutes. Each time it went straight to voicemail, and each time the hope that she could change her mind faded a little more. She began to type instead:

**‘Shelby please. I know you’re scared. I’m fucking scared of my feelings too. Just call me. You owe me that.’**

**‘Fuck Shelby you can’t just give me no chance to respond.’**

**‘Is this it?’**

**‘I fucking trusted you.’**

**‘I’m sorry. Please call me.’**

**‘I’m sorry. I know you said not to contact you but I can’t leave it like this.’**

**‘You say you care about me?’**

**‘Everything you said just last night? I know you meant that Shelby.’**

**‘I won’t find better. I don’t want better! You know you’re what I want!’**

**‘You know this is real’**

**‘Have you blocked my fucking number?’**

**‘Please. We can’t end like this.’**

\-----

The next morning Toni awoke with the world’s worst fucking headache. For a split second she considered the previous day had been some fucked up dream. The moment didn’t last long as she felt Martha’s breath against the back of her neck. She quickly realized she must have been crying in her sleep like she used to and that Martha must have come into her bed in the night to hold her. She wanted to vomit at how vulnerable she had been, and how unaware of it. 

She kept one eye closed in an attempt to suppress her headache as she reached for her phone. 7 notifications. Not one of them Shelby. A couple of tags in memes and five messages in the group chat. All of them from Fatin. She figured she was probably drunk as they weren’t there when Toni finally stopped staring at her phone at around two in the morning. She didn’t even bother to unlock her phone, instead shoving it back down on the floor by her mattress. 

Toni let herself shift her body back, pushing herself closer to Martha, who in turn grunted and flopped an arm round her best friend before falling straight back to sleep. 

Moments later, the vibrate of Martha’s phone made her stir again. She grunted and reached around, grabbing the device and answering the call without even opening her eyes. 

‘Hello,’ Martha grumbled, still almost entirely asleep. 

‘What’s up bitches?’ Toni heard Fatin screech down the line.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Putting the plan in action.

‘How drunk are you right now?’ Martha asked in a half-slumber.

‘Somewhere between still blind drunk and about to fucking die if Dot doesn’t hurry up and get me some aspirin!’ Fatin responded, shouting the last part, prompting a loud echo of 'fuck off' down the phone from her roommate. 

Toni brought the duvet over her head. As much as she loved Fatin, her slurs were the last thing she wanted to listen to right now. 

‘Why have neither of you bitches got back to me in the group chat?’ Fatin asked.

‘It’s been a little… rough here,’ Martha replied. 

‘Rough?’ 

Toni pulled her head out from under the duvet to shake her head at Martha, a warning not to get into things right now.

‘Just… busy, I mean,’ Martha recovered. 

Thankfully Fatin was still too drunk to pick up on Martha’s awful attempt at a lie. There wasn’t exactly a lot any of them could be too busy with during summer break.

‘Well at least I finally got hold of you guys, Goodkinds gone completely AWOL on me.’

With hearing Shelby’s surname, Toni shot up and grabbed Martha’s phone from her hand before she could stop her. 

‘What did you say about Shelby?’ She asked a little too desperately, putting Martha’s device on speakerphone. 

‘Bitch ignored me all day yesterday. I rang her last night and this morning but her phone went straight to voicemail.’ Fatin replied, before realising how weird it was for Toni to be asking. ‘Wait, why are _you_ asking. Surely you know what she’s up to?’ 

Toni was quiet. 

‘Oh fuck, did you guys have a domestic?’ Fatin asked, her slurs carrying a sense of genuine concern. 

‘Something like that,’ Toni said softly. 

‘What’s happened?’ 

‘She ended things,’ Toni tried to sound as blasé and unconcerned as possible, but her eyes were red and watery again as soon as she said the words aloud. 

Fatin laughed down the phone, naturally thinking Toni was joking for a second. When there was no response, she drawled, ‘fuuuuuck.’ 

‘Yeah,’ Was all Toni could muster.

‘What the fuck,’ Fatin replied, the conversation seemingly sobering her up. ‘That doesn’t make any sense.’ 

‘Tell me about it. One minute she can’t wait to see me, the next our worlds are too different.’ 

‘No, Toni, I mean that literally doesn’t make sense, not after the shit she’s been saying to me about you guys.’ Fatin said assertively. ‘And that doesn’t explain why she won’t she speak to _me._ ’

It was weird, Toni had to admit. Shelby and Fatin had gotten super close, and while Toni understood Shelby not replying in the group chat they were both in, she was surprised she hadn’t reached out to Fatin one-on-one about things. 

‘She said on the text she needed a break from all the girls on the island.’ Toni finally replied.

‘Text? You mean you haven’t actually spoken to her?’ 

‘Fatin, do you not think I’ve fucking tried? I can’t even tell you how many texts I’ve sent or how many times I’ve tried calling in the past twenty-four hours. I thought she’d blocked my number until knowing you can’t get hold of her either.’ 

‘I just,’ Fatin paused for a second. ‘I just know how she feels about you.’

‘Fatin, this might not exactly be helpful.’ Martha voiced. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in Shelby’s feelings for Toni, but she’d made her decision, and she didn’t see how it was helpful for Toni to be under any pretences that she might change her mind. 

‘Martha’s right,’ Dot said down the line, her voice drawing closer as she approached where Fatin sat. ‘That small town, God worshiping shit can do a real number on you.’ 

‘But that’s just _it_ you guys. Shelby’s already done that shit.’ Fatin’s voice became more and more animated. ‘You seriously think after everything she went through on the island, that whole journey of self-discovery or whatever, you seriously think that’s it? She just jumps straight back into that closet? Maybe if this was the first week we’d been off the island but nah, no way, not after this amount of time.’ 

‘What are you saying, Fatin?’ Martha asked, getting a little fed up with the whole thing. After all, she’d be the one comforting Toni as she cried herself to sleep every night for a month.

‘I’m saying it’s fucked up!’ Fatin said, then quietened a little, realizing the alcohol still in her system may be hindering her judgement. She didn’t want to start spouting a Leah style conspiracy theory just yet. ‘I just know she loves you, Toni. Like _really_ loves you, and not just in some teenage, first love kinda way. You’re fucking endgame to her, trust me.’

The more Fatin spoke, the more Toni believed her. It had been easy for her to tell herself Shelby meant what she said when she ended things. It was easy for someone like Toni, who had never actually believed herself to be worthy of real love, to let herself believe Shelby could leave her so easily. It was a lot harder to believe she could be in love with her. But Fatin was right. When they left the island, Toni had feared this happening, that Shelby would get back home and fall into her old life, realize Toni wasn’t what she wanted at all. But when Toni thought of the way they’d been since leaving the island, the gleam in Shelby’s moss green eyes when she answered Toni’s video calls, the things they said to each other, not to mention the pictures Shelby would send her late at night. The Shelby that Toni had met on day one of the island was gone, and it was clear now, she wouldn’t have returned, not like this, not now. 

‘I love her too,’ Toni said softly, not knowing why she hadn’t said the words to Shelby herself yet.

Fatin’s response took everyone on the call by surprise. ‘Then let’s go. Let’s go to Texas.’

\-----

Shelby twisted her fork around her plate, looking despondently at the mixture of pancakes and fruit, mashing them up instead of eating. 

‘What happened to your face?’ her younger brother Spencer shouted across the breakfast table. 

Shelby made brief eye contact with her father, to check whose role it was to answer the question. 

‘I tripped,’ Shelby responded casually. ‘In the shower.’

Her father’s lips twisted into a self-assured smirk.

‘You’re not eating,’ he said brashly after another minute or so. 

‘I-I’m not hungry,’ Shelby replied quietly, flashing him a smile to keep up appearances for her younger siblings. 

‘Course you are, anyway your mother made this specially. I know you wouldn’t disrespect her by not eatin’ it.’ 

‘Dave, it’s fine-’ his wife started.

‘No!’ Dave responded sternly. ‘No, Jo. We eat as a family in this house. Always have, always will. Ain’t that right, Shelbs?’ 

Shelby didn’t react, continuing to push her food around her plate. 

‘Shelby!’ her father shouted, slamming his fist into the table inches away from her plate. 

She jumped, looking up sharply. 

‘Ain’t that right?’ he repeated forcefully. 

Shelby’s eyes darted around the table. She was unable to look at her mother, but made quick eye contact with her brother and sister who both gave her a knowing, petrified stare. 

‘Yes, daddy.’ She finally said defeatedly, forcing the pancakes into her mouth. 

She knew, if this was it, if this was how she had to spend her life, she wouldn’t last a week. 

\----

It was going dark by the time Fatin got back in touch with Toni. Their phone conversation had gone a little awry after the suggestion of hunting Shelby down in Texas. Martha thought the whole idea was ridiculous, and had let Toni know a few times throughout the day. Dot had initially sided with Martha, but Fatin’s mastery in the art of persuasion worked quickly, and she figured a trip to her hometown might be worth it if she got to see Mateo. 

While Fatin had phrased the trip as ‘mission rescue from Westboro’, Toni wasn’t entirely sure what she was going for. She didn’t know what to expect from the trip. She had a knot in her stomach that told her something was wrong, that there was something going on she wasn’t yet aware of, but she was pretty sure that Fatin was way off in suggesting Shelby had joined a cult. Either way she needed answers, and if Shelby truly wanted her out of her life, she owed it to them both to tell Toni to her face. 

By the time the text came through, Toni was resigned to the belief that Fatin had sobered up and changed her mind. She was about to give in and tell Marty she’d been right, that it was a stupid idea anyway, when her phone vibrated. 

**‘I meant what I said this morning.’**

**‘Say the word and the flights are booked. We can be in Texas this time tomorrow.’**

With no hesitation, Toni typed her reply:

**‘Book them’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a filler this one... next one is a DOOZY


	4. Chapter 4

‘Please stop looking at me like that Marty,’ Toni said as she shoved a foot into her beat up vans. ‘I need you on my side for this.’

‘I’m always on your side.’ Martha replied honestly. ‘I’m just worried this trip isn’t going to turn out how you expect. What’re you going to do, knock on her door and interrupt her dad’s conversion therapy session? Throw rocks at her window?’ 

‘I don’t know Marty, I keep telling you, I don’t know. I just… I just need to be nearer, then I’ll figure it out.’

Martha looked intently as Toni ran her hand’s through her hair one last time before she was ready to leave. She remembered that Toni was not a patient person, and that she was not interested in half measures. As exhausting as it could be Martha would not have changed her for anything on earth. This plan to win Shelby back was no different, Toni was all in, and Martha knew she needed to be as well. 

‘Just stay safe,’ Martha instructed, pulling Toni in for a hug. ‘Text me when you land, when you see her, when anything happens, okay? Keep me in the loop.’ 

‘Of course,’ Toni said, squeezing her friend tightly. 

Their embrace was broken by Toni’s phone vibrating to let her know the Uber was outside. 

‘I mean it, Toni. Be safe there. _Please_ stay out of trouble.’ Martha reminded, thinking of how glad she was Dot was there to keep Toni and Fatin in check. 

Toni flashed her friend a sly smile and said in her most charming voice, ‘Always.’ 

\-------------

Dave Goodkind had entirely expected his eldest daughter to submit; he had envisioned no other scenario when he confronted her with his awareness of her relationship. She would behave as she had last time, he thought. She would cry, deny, and beg for his forgiveness, along with forgiveness from God. She would throw herself back into the pageant scene, immerse herself in Bible study and volunteer more frequently at church. She would pretend until it became her reality, until she remembered where she belonged, and who with.

His daughter Shelby had surprised him though. Instead of seeking her father’s love and attention, she had withdrawn. She wasn’t playing her part in their charade, and it was becoming a threat to the family. For a man like Dave Goodkind, the head of a family who obeyed his every command, this was unprecedented terrain. For someone in the household to undermine him, to rebel? It made Dave Goodkind feel threatened, and when people like Dave Goodkind feel threatened, all bets are off. 

\-------------

Toni turned her phone back on in the airport after landing. She’d tried calling Shelby another three times before the plane took off. For some reason each time she expected the phone to ring, to hear Shelby's voice on the other end of the line, but each time it went straight to voicemail. 

She turned her phone back on as she walked through the airport to where Fatin and Dot had told her to meet them. Again, she was uncharacteristically optimistic that she would have a message from Shelby, and again she was disappointed. She wondered how, given that she was now in the same state as her, Shelby felt further away than ever before. 

‘What the fuck,’ Toni muttered under her breath as she approached the meeting point.

Fatin sat in the driver’s seat of a the most ostentatious car Toni had ever seen, a bright red Tesla. She stared in wonder as Fatin pressed a button and the hood of the car opened up to reveal a trunk at the front of the car. 

‘Ridiculous, right?’ Dot shouted from the passenger seat, leaning over Fatin. 

‘Oh, calm down it’s only a rental!’ Fatin said, sounding satisfied with herself. 

‘Very inconspicuous,’ Toni said, throwing her bag into the hood’s storage unit. She might have had a little more to say on the matter if Fatin hadn’t paid for her plane ticket, and Toni had to admit, she looked really fucking cool. 

‘Right?’ Dot laughed. ‘We’re here on a secret fucking mission and this one rents a Batmobile.’ 

‘It has tinted windows,’ Fatin said defensively. 

‘That is absolutely not why you chose this car,’ Dot teased as Toni clambered into the back seat. 

Fatin turned herself round to face Toni properly, though Toni could only make out half of her face given the ridiculously large sunglasses she had on. 

‘You ready?’ She asked softly. 

Toni nodded seriously, and Fatin put the car into drive. As they sped off, Toni remembered how familiar being with these idiots was. A warmth of easiness spread through her, and for the first time since Shelby had ended things, she felt herself smile. 

\-------------

Following her father’s outburst towards her at breakfast, Shelby had spent the rest of the day back in her bedroom - though it wasn’t as if she really had anywhere else to go. Her father didn’t need to explicitly tell her she was under house arrest, the confiscation of her phone and laptop had been a clear enough message. She lay on top of her bedsheets, staring blankly ahead at the celling, trying to eliminate her darkest thoughts, empty her mind. 

Shelby didn’t move a muscle when her father entered her room. She felt nothing. She was too tired to be scared, tired of running, tired of pretending. While she was willing to put on an act in front of the rest of her family, if only to protect them from her father’s abuse, she was done with the perfect daughter act. Whatever he had in store for her couldn’t be worse than this feeling of emptiness that consumed her, so she thought. 

‘How long is this going to go on for, Shelbs?’ Her father asked as he invited himself to sit at the edge of her bed. 

‘How long is what going to go on for?’ She replied flatly, her eyes fixated on wall above her. 

‘This childish, entitled little attitude of yours.’ 

Shelby didn’t respond. 

‘Shelby, look at me when I am speaking to you.’ His voice was soft yet aggressive at the same time. 

She looked at him with calm, expressionless eyes. 

‘Are you trying to tear this family apart?’ 

Shelby then did something she never in a million years dreamt she would ever do. Her brain cycled through all of her experiences on the island in a matter of seconds. Gliding over every memory of Toni, of their story. Her refusal to become the person she was before the island and Toni possessed her.

She choked out a laugh and looked into her father’s eyes before saying, ‘You don’t need my help with that, Daddy.’ 

The series of events that occurred next happened too quickly for Shelby to grasp accurately. 

Her father left her room. She heard stomping, then shouts. She heard her mother repeating her father’s name, she heard pleading. She heard the familiar thud of a fist against skin. The stomping came closer. Her father approached her, binding the buckle end of a thick, brown leather belt around his right hand. She covered her face. Her mom was there, shouting something. She looked through her hands and saw her brother and sister at her door. Her sister was crying. Her brother was frightened. Her mother was over her, protecting her. She closed her eyes.

Her mother was pulling her up, telling her to move. She grabbed her sister as she ran out her bedroom door. Her mom was hurrying them, piling them into the family car. Her brother was crying now. She pulled him into her body. Her mom was shaking, blood on the back of her hand from where she’d wiped her face. The car engine sounded, and then they were gone. 

\-------------

While the plan Toni, Dot and Fatin landed on might not have been as exciting as Fatin’s proposal to buy balaclavas and each take a side of Shelby’s house to break into simultaneously, it was certainly a more rational one. It was simple, Dot would innocently knock on the Goodkind’s front door, let whoever answered know she was back in town for a few days and that she wanted to see Shelby. 

‘Yes, I know it’s boring Fatin, but more often than not the most obvious scenario is the right one.’ Dot said as she instructed her roommate to a parking spot a couple blocks away from Shelby’s house. 

It made Toni shudder a little, knowing the ‘obvious’ scenario Dot pictured was the same one Martha did. Shelby wanted space, and here Toni was refusing to give it to her, making a ridiculous journey just to be dumped a second time. She stayed quiet as Dot exited the car, the sinking feeling growing heavier as she watched Dot turn a corner and walk out of sight. 

\-------------

Toni scrutinized Dot as she came back into view, trying to predict the outcome of her trip to Shelby’s house based on her facial expression. She wasn’t giving anything away. 

‘What?’ Toni asked before Dot had even sat back in the car, repeating the question when she didn’t answer in under a second. 

‘Did you see her?’ The air of desperation in Toni’s voice clear. 

‘No, just her dad,’ Dot replied. 

‘And? What did he say?’ Toni was pretty much shouting now. 

‘She, she wasn’t there,’ Dot continued. ‘He said the family were out of town visiting his mother-in-law, Shelby’s grandma.’ 

Dot looked at Toni, then at Fatin, then back at Toni before finally saying, ‘I didn’t believe a fucking word of it.’ 

\-------------

Dave Goodkind poured his fourth shot of whisky in as many minutes. He sat at his kitchen table and stared at his handgun he had placed in front of him, his fingers glazing over the barrel. 

He poured another two shots and prayed aloud as he picked the gun up. He pointed it downwards, and pulled back the slide. 

Another shot of whisky. 

As he began to raise the gun, his phone began to ring in his pocket. He ignored it for a couple of rings, continuing to move the gun up his body. Then he stopped, and pulled the phone out of his pocket. 

Deputy Barnes’ private number. 

He answered silently. 

‘Dave,’ he heard his friend say. ‘Dave, that number you’ve had me keeping tabs on. The one of the girl that’s been bothering your Shelby?’ 

‘Yes?’ Dave asked almost inaudibly. 

‘You’re not going to believe this,’ Barnes continued. ‘About an hour ago, the number pinged a cell tower… two miles away.’ 

Dave Goodkind decocked his handgun and took another shot of whisky.

He wasn’t done yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT’S A SMALL TOWN OK. I know the chances of them being in the same hotel are *low* and I would have thought of something better if I wasn’t writing as I went along until literally now. 
> 
> Also something blew my mind while writing this. I’m British so google ‘what do American’s call’ about pretty much everything. Google kept telling me Texan’s call fizzy drinks (pop) coke?? Even if it’s not coke?? Like they call sprite coke!?! I refuse to believe this is true!

It was late afternoon when Shelby awoke in the hotel room to her mother softly stroking her hairline. The time between leaving their family home to this moment was hazy, muddied by the speed and shock of everything that had happened. Nobody had really said anything, they hadn’t needed to. Her mother’s crying was enough for her and her siblings to know their parent’s marriage was over. 

‘Hey sweetheart,’ Shelby heard as she opened her eyes.

Shelby looked at the swelling on her mother’s face, slightly higher than her own and already a deeper shade of purple. She uttered, ‘I’m so sorry,’ and then she was crying again, pushing her head closer to her mother’s body. 

Her mother held her closer, shushing her calmly and telling her she had nothing to be sorry for. 

‘He was right, I’ve torn the family apart.’ Shelby cried into her mom’s shirt.

Her mom pulled back abruptly, looking her daughter dead in the eye before saying, ‘You have not torn this family apart, Shelby.’ She punctuated each word sharply, ‘Your father has been hurting this family for years. This… this, situation, with you, and your… feelings…’ Shelby could sense her mother’s uneasiness, despite her trying. ‘This situation is not the catalyst for all of this, it’s just the final straw. I should have taken you out of there a long time ago.’

They were both sobbing heavily now, immersed in their own forms of guilt. They stayed holding each other for a few minutes, until Shelby finally pulled away, knowing that if she didn’t say it aloud to her mother now, she might never do it.

‘Mom, w-who I am, this… these feelings,’ She stuttered. ‘I- it’s… I’m not confused, mom. I-’

‘Shelby,’ she was cut off. ‘I may not understand the way you are feelin’, and I may need you to be a little patient with me.’ She held Shelby’s hands tightly in her own as she spoke, ‘But I love you. Unconditionally.’

They hugged for another short while before Shelby’s mom spoke again, ‘All I want is for you to be happy, baby.’

‘She makes me so happy, mom.’ 

JoBeth drew her hand away from her daughter’s grip, lifting it up to Shelby’s face, tucking a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear as she looked at the bruise on her face. She tasted the guilt of all the years she had let her child suffer, swallowed hard and said, ‘Then I can’t wait to meet her.’

\----------

Shelby observed her family sleep for a good ten minutes. She watched the rise and fall of each of their chests and studied their soft faces as they rested peacefully. For the first time since she had been forced to end things with Toni, she felt composed. For the first time in maybe her life, she felt hopeful that she could have the life she wanted.   
She rose from her bed quietly, routing around the hotel room for a drink, her head heavy from the days of crying. She opened the minibar but was only greeted with alcohol, her younger siblings having already drank the cans of coke. Dissatisfied with water and wanting something sweeter, almost as a fuck you to her father, she headed out the room to the hotel bar on the ground floor. 

Shelby was waiting by the elevator when she realized that the loud boisterous voices and laughs she could hear coming from the hotel door behind her sounded eerily familiar. She grew closer to the door, squinting as she tried to listen harder. As she continued to listen her mouth fell open. She considered for a second that she might be going actually crazy, if all the lack of sleep and excessive crying over the past few days had started to send her insane. She knocked on the door regardless, telling herself that she could just say she had the wrong room if a stranger answered. The door swung open. She was right. Dot fucking Campbell.

Before she could even acknowledge what was happening, let alone speak, Shelby was pulled into a tight embrace. Then there were two more arms around her as Fatin attached herself to the pair. 

‘Fucking hell it’s good to see you,’ Dot said, breathing out sharply. She hadn’t voiced to the others quite how concerned she’d been after her bizarre interaction with Shelby’s dad, not wanting to send Toni over the edge. 

‘I’m surprised you’re here so soon, I thought you two would be having a sly fuck somewhere.’ Fatin said as they finally pulled away from each other. 

Shelby looked at her in absolute bewilderment. 

‘Yeah, where is Toni anyway?’ Dot asked casually. 

Shelby’s baffled expression only grew.

‘Fuck, what happened to your face?’ asked Fatin who had only just started to properly look at the friend she hadn’t seen in so long. 

Shelby was almost sure she was hallucinating, absolutely nothing these girls were saying made sense. 

‘What are you guys…’ she started, almost slurring her words with confusion. ‘Toni?’

Fatin and Dot twisted their faces to match Shelby’s look of confusion. 

‘Toni,’ Dot said seriously, ‘she’s with you.’ She phrased her words as a statement, unwilling to accept that it was a question was having to ask. 

‘I-I am beyond confused right now, so if somebody can just tell me what’s going on here,’ Shelby’s drawl was even more Southern than usual, the way it got when she felt threatened or increasingly uncomfortable.

‘Shelby,’ Fatin said very slowly, ‘Toni went to meet you like half an hour ago. You texted her.’

Fatin realized as she spoke that something was very, very wrong. There was no way, judging by the severity of Shelby’s face, that this was some kind of prank. 

‘I… I don’t even have my phone,’ Shelby said, unable to fully comprehend what was happening. She too wondered if this was some kind of wind up, but knew from the faces of her friends that it was not.

‘Who has your phone?’ Someone asked, Shelby wasn’t even sure whether it was Dot or Fatin, her mind painting a picture too harrowing to bear. 

‘My dad.’

\----------

The race to Shelby’s house was frenzied. Fatin followed Dot’s directions, running at least three red lights in the process as she navigated the small town at freeway speeds. Shelby used Dot’s phone to ring Toni, focusing on nothing else. The first time she called, the phone rang out as she whispered ‘please’ repeatedly under her breath. The second time was the same. The third time, the phone was off. She kept ringing anyway, again and again, praying for a different outcome, but every time she was met with the message tone. She just kept ringing, compulsively, needing something to do with her hands and unable to accept a world in which Toni couldn’t answer. 

Shelby moved quickly when the car jerked to a halt. She jumped out the car, telling her friends to stay put and ran towards the door of her family home. 

Dot and Fatin gave each other a severe look as they watched Shelby crash through the front door of her house. From the moment they’d seen Shelby in the hotel to now, everyone had been running on adrenaline. Only now did they start to let their minds wander, their stomachs churning as they started to think of what might be happening to their friend in that house. 

No longer than twenty seconds after they watched Shelby enter her home, they heard the gunshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be mainly Toni’s POV (I think) and we will find out who gets shot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somehow ended up writing an episode of criminal minds

**'I’m here’**

Toni texted as she approached Shelby’s front door. She had seen her house before, in pictures Shelby had sent her, but it was surreal being there. The outside of the house was drabber than Toni thought it would be. She’d felt like that about this part of Texas in general since she’d arrived. It was as though the whole town was black and white, and Shelby was the only thing here that she could imagine having any colour. She struggled to picture the girl she loved fitting into a place like this.

**'Come in. there’s a key under the plant pot nearest the door x’**

Toni fumbled around the plant pot excitedly. If she wasn’t so caught up in the moment, so desperate to be seeing Shelby, she might have considered how strange it was for Shelby not to come and meet her at the door. That being said, she was too busy imagining that Shelby was already undressing, waiting for Toni in her bed.

She opened the door eagerly and shouted, ‘Shelby!’ but there was no answer. ‘Shelby?’ She called out again. It was silent, eerily so.

Looking around and noticing a pile of shoes by the front door, Toni shouted out again, ‘Hey! Do you want me to take my shoes off?’

‘You can leave them on.’ Toni heard. The voice low and menacing. She turned towards the sound and saw Dave Goodkind leaning casually against the doorframe of his living room, a glass of whisky and ice in hand. He smiled, ‘Hey, Toni.’

Toni stood rooted to the spot, every muscle in her body seizing up.

‘Where is she?’ Toni asked, trying to sound as calm as possible, though she failed miserably. ‘Where’s Shelby?’ She asked again, knowing full well by this point that Shelby wasn’t here.

‘Come,’ Dave said, ignoring her questions and speaking as though he was inviting an old friend further into his home.

He turned his back on her and headed towards his kitchen, letting her see the handle of his revolver hanging out the back pocket of his jeans. It was a clear enough sign that there was no option to run.

Toni found herself following him past his dining table and through to a kitchen island. He nodded at a stool on one side, indicating for her to sit down, as he walked around the other side of the island to top his drink up. Then, he just stood there and drank, his eyes fixed on her as she sat on the stool. It had been minutes before she spoke again.

‘H-Have you… Have you hurt her? Shelby?’ Toni managed to croak out, realizing she hadn’t breathed since she had seen his gun.

‘You really think I’d hurt my own daughter, Toni?’ He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Everything I do… I do to protect my family.’

Toni didn’t buy it, not entirely. She could picture this man doing just about anything to just about anyone. But she figured that if he had done something terrible to Shelby, he’d be telling her all about it, making sure she knew it was her fault. She told herself that Shelby not being here meant that she was safer somewhere else.

‘Drink?’ Dave asked, eyeing an empty glass on the table, whisky bottle in hand. Toni shook her head no, unnerved by his relaxed demeanour. He smiled in response, saying, ‘You probably steer clear of that stuff, right? Your mom being an addict ‘n all?’

Toni hadn’t figured out what game he was trying to play, but she certainly wasn’t going to play along the way he wanted her to.

‘She prefers the stronger stuff actually,’ she said indifferently, trying not to think about how he would even know about her mom.

He laughed aloud as he spoke, ‘I can’t exactly say I blame her,’ Toni could smell the alcohol seeping out of him. ‘A kid like you could drive a parent to all sorts of despair.’

Toni had figured by this point that he wanted to see her scared. If she didn’t give him what he wanted, if she didn’t cry or plead with him, maybe she could bide her time. Somebody would come, eventually.

‘Yeah, well I can’t take credit for that one. She was already pretty fucked up before I came along.’ She attempted to sound as nonchalant as possible, trying to match Dave’s energy. It wasn’t convincing.

She watched as Dave Goodkind’s eyes changed. The glimmer of deranged amusement had vanished. He was enraged. He pulled the gun out from his back pocket. Toni’s mouth fell open. She stuttered as she searched for the words to save her life, her pupil’s dilating with fear and her heart hammering against her chest.

She waited for the shot, putting her hands in front of her in self-defence as he took the gun in both hands. She muttered a ‘please’ so quietly that she wasn’t sure she’d even made a noise. She waited for him to raise the gun and fire.

Instead, she watched as Shelby’s father toyed with his gun on the table. First the cylinder swung out, then he tipped the gun, knocking it against the table and allowing the full round of six bullets to fall out. Toni didn’t have time to react or comprehend what was happening. She watched as he picked one of the bullets up, and slotted it back into one of the chambers, leaving the other five slots empty. As he spun the cylinder, Toni began to realised that there was a one in six chance of her brains painting Shelby’s kitchen walls in the next three seconds.

Dave quickly pushed the cylinder back in place, cocked the gun and raised it. He pressed the barrel against Toni’s forehead. She closed her eyes as tightly as possible and thought of Shelby, and he pulled the trigger.

There was a quiet click and an even quieter whimper.

Toni swallowed, the size of the lump in her throat making it hurt to do so. She opened her eyes slowly.

His menacing smile was back.

‘Swear under my roof again to lessen your chances.’

Toni now knew, without any doubt, that she was going to die. She was going to die in Shelby’s house, at the hands of her psychotic father. She was going to die and she would never see Shelby again. She would never get to kiss her again, or even touch her hand. She would never see Shelby smile again, or hear her laugh. The worst part, Toni realized, was that she was going to die without ever having told Shelby that she was in love with her.

She was going to die. But not like this. She wasn’t going to let him enjoy it.

‘This not gonna bother the big guy upstairs?’ She asked coldly. ‘Pretty sure it’s one of the big no-noes… murdering teenagers.’

He laughed, but Toni could sense he was rattled by her sudden composure. He spat, ‘The bible also tells us that you should not let a sorceress live. And that a man who does not take care of his family is worse than an unbeliever.’

‘A sorceress?’ It was Toni’s turn to laugh. She let her adrenaline control her, provoking him further, ‘I get it. You’re just another bible thumper who makes their own rules up to-’

She was interrupted by Dave flying across the table. He dragged her off the chair by her throat, his grip strong enough to break every bone in her neck if he wanted to.

Toni felt her back smack against the wall and struggled as her body was lifted off the ground by the hand around her neck. She wrapped her hands around Dave’s wrist, clawing at him as she tried to free herself from his grip. Her feet kicked out in search for something solid to stand on. She realized these were the last moments of her life.

‘She’ll never forgive you,’ she managed to splutter out as she could feel her body giving up under his tightening grip.

Dave was done talking. He kept his grip around Toni’s neck firm as she thrashed against the wall, his gaze steady on her face as it changed in colour. Toni could feel herself starting to lose consciousness, her ears ringing and her lungs aching as they failed; her grip around Dave’s wrists loosened as her body failed her.

And then, she was released. Her body dropping to the floor abruptly. She gasped desperately for breath, her hands grasping at her own throat as she struggled to get used to the feeling of air refilling her lungs. She hadn’t known why Dave had released her. She had been too close to death to hear the door open and the sound of Shelby calling her name.

Dave Goodkind had heard. He dropped Toni and darted to the table where he’d left his gun. He picked it up and turned around quickly, pointing it at Toni who was starting to hoist herself up using the wall.

He cocked the gun and moved his finger over the trigger. He heard Shelby screaming. He saw her out of the corner of his eye as she ran into the room. She was too late. He muttered a plea for God’s forgiveness under his breath and pulled the trigger.

There was an empty click.

After half a bottle of whisky he had forgotten there was now only one round in the gun. He pulled back the hammer again and fired a second time. This time, the gun fired a shot.

Dave Goodkind felt a sense of relief sweep through him as he heard the sound of the bullet leaving the gun. What Dave Goodkind hadn’t anticipated, however, was that in the time it had taken for him to pull the trigger for a second time, his daughter had thrown herself in front of his intended victim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooorry


	7. Chapter 7

Toni’s recollection of events after being dropped by Dave Goodkind were unclear. One second she was clinging to consciousness, her vision fading as the pressure behind her eyes intensified, her brain starving for oxygen. The next, she was scrambling against the wall, not understanding why he had let her go but knowing that she needed to try and get herself out of the house.

She hadn’t heard Shelby calling her name. She couldn’t hear anything, the ringing in her ears too intense. Her body wasn’t moving as quickly as she needed it to. She still couldn’t see properly and she could feel herself stumbling as she tried to navigate her way towards where she thought the door might be. She felt something touching her as she attempted to keep moving, and then she heard the gunshot; the sound loud enough to penetrate the ringing in her ears. 

Toni felt herself being propelled backwards with force. She had been shot; she was sure of it. She ran her hands along her body, searching for the wound. She couldn’t find it, couldn’t feel the pain. Her vision was starting to adjust again, the feeling in her limbs returning. She searched her body again with her hands waiting to feel the pain from the bullet. Then she looked up. 

About a foot in front of her, she saw Shelby. She was lying flat on her back, very still. Toni started to move towards her, still in a state of shock. The first thing she noticed was Shelby’s face. It was paler than usual and her mouth was open; she could hear her breathing hastily. Next, Toni noticed the bottom of Shelby’s white t-shirt starting to turn red as blood rapidly gathered on the surface of her stomach. Toni realized that it wasn’t a bullet that knocked her flying backwards, it was Shelby, pushing her out of the gun’s line of sight. 

‘Shelby!’ Toni tried to cry out as she moved towards the girl she loved, but she barely made a sound - her voice still too raspy from the strangling she had endured. 

She reached Shelby, calling her name again as she moved straight towards her stomach where the blood was pooling. Her voice was hoarse, but the sound was clearer than her last attempt. She felt Shelby’s hand gripping at her wrist as she tried to block the blood source with her hands. Toni just kept repeating ‘it’s okay’, unsure whose benefit the words were for as she struggled to restrict the amount of blood coming from Shelby’s wound.

‘Toni,’ Shelby whispered. She tried to pull Toni’s hands, wanting her head near hers. 

Toni just kept repeating that it was ‘going to be okay’. She knew what Shelby wanted her to do when she pulled at her, but she knew leaving her wound unattended could be fatal, and she wasn’t taking the chance. 

Toni was running on adrenaline, her own body still unsteady as she removed her t-shirt so that she could use it to try and supress the bleeding from Shelby’s stomach. She was pushing the t-shirt into Shelby’s stomach, still just repeating that she was ‘okay’, when she felt someone else’s grip on her shoulder. It was Dot. 

\--

Shelby Goodkind had never imagined what it would be like to be shot. Though if she had, she would have never expected it to feel like this. There was no pain, not at first. Just heat. She was going to be okay, she thought. Toni was there and it was going to be okay. 

It wasn’t until she heard the voices of Dot and Fatin that she realized how hurt she must have been. She could hear it in Fatin’s panicked speech to 911, feel it in the urgency of Dot’s hands pressing against the source of the heat. But it was okay. Toni was there. She was closer now, her head dangling just above Shelby’s own. 

‘You came for me,’ Shelby whispered, and it made Toni sob. 

‘I came for you,’ Toni nodded, her tears falling onto Shelby’s face, cascading down her cheeks. ‘I’m here… I’m right here with you Shelby. You’re okay.’ It was clear to everyone in the room that the more Toni said it was okay, the less she believed it. 

‘Where the fuck is the ambulance?’ Shelby could hear Dot ask aloud as she continued to apply pressure to her body. 

The pain was there now, intensifying as Dot stuffed a tea towel into her open wound. Shelby could feel the warm sensation turn into a deep, blistering burn. She tried to look down at the injury but Toni cupped her chin and pulled it gently back to face her. 

‘It’s okay, just keep looking at me, Shelby… Just keep looking at me. Help’s coming. You’re going to be fine. Stay with me, baby.’ 

‘I love you, Toni,’ Shelby said softly, feeling herself getting weaker. 

‘Don’t,’ Toni cried. ‘You can tell me tomorrow, and every day after that.’ She could sense the change in Shelby’s breathing but she had to tell herself that what she was saying was true. She wasn’t going to lose Shelby. She couldn’t. 

‘Toni,’ Shelby whispered, her eyes closing. ‘Please.’

‘I love you, Shelby.’ Toni choked out, holding Shelby’s head in her hands closely. ‘I love you. I love you so much, Shelby, so just stay with me. Please, just stay awake for me.’ 

Shelby’s eyelids were fluttering as she tried to stay with Toni. She drifted in and out as Toni kept telling her that she loved her, that help was coming. Shelby knew that she was losing too much blood. 

Toni looked up at Dot and Fatin briefly before continuing to shake Shelby gently, trying to get her to stay awake. 

Dot hadn’t really looked at Toni since she’d entered the house. She’d been too busy attending to Shelby to do so. It wasn’t until she made eye contact with Toni that she noticed that she was in a bad way too. She was almost as pale as Shelby and her eyes were bloodshot, particularly her right eye which had almost absolutely no white left in it. 

‘Get two,’ Dot said quietly to Fatin who was still on the phone to the emergency services as they made their way to the house. 

‘What?’ Fatin asked, not hearing Dot over the panic over their surroundings. 

‘Get two ambulances,’ Dot repeated quietly, not wanting Toni to hear and protest that she was fine. 

Toni didn’t hear, she was too busy trying to keep Shelby’s eyes on hers. Too busy hoping, praying to a God that she didn’t believe in. 

‘I’d do it all again,’ Shelby whispered as she faded again. 

Toni could feel her hope subsiding. Shelby was dying in her arms. There was too much blood for them to manage. 

‘Please,’ Toni cried, her forehead pressed against Shelby’s. ‘Please don’t fucking leave me, Shelby. Don’t give up, please, I can’t do this without you. I love you. Please, please, please.’ 

\--

Toni felt herself being pulled away from Shelby as the paramedics entered the scene. She could discern Fatin trying to talk to her, trying to move her further away so she couldn’t see what they were doing to Shelby. She couldn’t hear Fatin properly, couldn’t feel anything, it was like she wasn’t really there. Then, either as a result of the trauma she’d suffered herself, the shock of what was happening to Shelby, or maybe both, Toni collapsed. 

\--

Dot and Fatin could do nothing but watch like helpless bystanders as both Shelby and Toni lost consciousness. They stood powerlessly and watched as the paramedics started to work on both girls’ fragile bodies. 

Then, as Dot and Fatin finally turned to look at each other, they heard another final gunshot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i'm done with cliffhangers now i promise...


	8. Chapter 8

Toni Shalifoe drifted in and out of consciousness on the Goodkind’s kitchen floor. She could hear people around her, feel them working on Shelby. She could hear the police asking questions of Dot and Fatin, questions they didn’t have the answer to. Shelby was moved quickly, leaving a pool of smudged blood in the space next to Toni. She could hear the sirens fading Shelby was carted away. 

‘Don’t take her away from me,’ she whispered. 

She was hyperventilating. She knew she had to breathe properly; knew she’d already gone too long without oxygen under Dave’s grip, but she could feel her limbs turning numb. She couldn’t help it. As they took Shelby away from her, breathing was the last thing on her mind. 

A second gunshot fired. It sounded far away but then so did everything. She felt her eyes close again.

\-------

‘Drop your weapon!’ 

Dave Goodkind had planned to die that night. It was a simple plan in the end. Kill Toni, then drive to the church and end it there. He had planned to kill her as soon as she entered his house, shoot her before she could even realize she’d been set up. His plan had changed the second he saw her. He needed to see her break first. 

When Shelby had fallen to the ground instead, he acknowledged his mistake. He loved his daughter. He loved her as much as a person like him could love someone anyway, and he certainly hadn’t wanted her to get hurt. 

As he stood in his back yard, surrounded by police as his daughter was taken away in the ambulance, Dave Goodkind felt contentment flood through his body. He was going to die. It wasn’t quite how he had planned it, he noted as he stood with an empty gun in his hand, but it was what he wanted. If Toni died, great. If she survived, which he hoped she would now that his daughter had taken her bullet, she would never forget their evening together. When she closed her eyes at night, she would feel his hand squeezing her neck, see the gleam in his eyes as the blood drained from her face. She would live knowing that he got to die peacefully, never having to face up to what he had done. She would live with the guilt of Shelby’s death. 

As for Shelby, he was sure that she would die. It was not what he had wanted, but he knew that God’s plan could be unpredictable. He had ended her pain before she had the opportunity to lead a life of sin. He had sent his daughter to heaven before she could send herself to hell. As the call to drop his weapon came again, Dave Goodkind felt peace. He raised his empty gun and pointed it towards the police officer nearest to him. The officer silenced him quickly in return.

\-------

‘Toni, I need you to try and stay away for me. You’re in shock.’ Toni could hear in the distance. 

Fatin and Dot tried to talk to Toni and urge her to stay awake, but the police were there now, telling them they needed to leave the scene. 

‘That’s strange,’ Dot heard a paramedic say as she was ushered away from Toni. ‘She’s in hypertension,’ he said as he observed the high blood pressure readings from the wire around her arm. 

‘She should have low blood pressure if she’s in shock,’ the second paramedic said in agreement. 

‘Wait!’ Dot shouted as she pushed back against the police officer who was escorting her out of the room. ‘I-I don’t think she’s in shock. I think she’s hurt. H-her eyes... they were all bloodshot before you came.’ 

The paramedic pulled Toni’s eyelids up and shone her torch into her eyes. She narrowed her eyes and lifted Toni’s head up, spotting the faint red marks forming on her neck. 

Then they were moving her as quickly as they had moved Shelby. 

\-------

‘This was my idea… to come here,’ Fatin said to Dot as they sat outside the hospital, making their way through countless cigarettes to focus their minds on something other than their fear. 

‘Don’t fucking do that, Fatin,’ Dot replied sternly. 

It was quiet for a while, the only sound their breaths and the occasional flick of a nail as ash fell to the floor. They sat with their guilt and tried to piece together what might have happened in that house. They’d heard the shouts of the paramedics as they loaded Toni into the ambulance. She’d been strangled, that much was clear. The rest of the shouts were unclear, mixed in with the talking of police, the other ambulance coming for the body in the back yard, the neighbours gathering on the street. They’d heard something about Toni needing oxygen, something about her heart rate dropping. It was the tone of voices that had told Fatin and Dot how bad things were. All they knew was that by the time they left that house, Toni was in as bad a shape as Shelby was; and they didn’t know if either of them would be alive by the time they finished their next cigarette. 

Dot was pulled from her dark thoughts by the sound of a woman’s raised, frantic voice on the other side of the glass. 

‘Where is she?’ Dot could hear. 

She turned around to see a woman she didn’t recognise at first. She was waving her arms around, shouting at a young nurse who didn’t seem to know much about anything. Dot watched as another nurse took over, trying to calm the woman down. She heard the nurse calmly take the woman to the side and tell her that they needed to talk somewhere, privately. _They’re going to tell her someone is dead,_ thought Dot as she observed the severity of the nurse’s face. Only then did Dot notice two small children hanging off either arm of the woman. She recognised them now; it was the rest of the Goodkind’s.

She thought of Toni’s family. 

‘We need to call Martha.’ 

\-----

JoBeth Goodkind felt the squeeze of her youngest children as they followed the nurse into a small room. It looked like the kind of room you would be taken to, to be told your daughter was dead. 

‘I don’t want them here for this,’ JoBeth said, wanting her remaining children removed from the room before she released her pain. 

‘Your daughter is alive,’ the nurse said quickly, picking up on the other woman’s thoughts. ‘She’s in surgery. She’s not out of the woods, and she’s lost a lot of blood… but your daughter is alive, Mrs Goodkind.’ 

JoBeth thought she might collapse. 

‘Did they mention your husband… when they called?’ The nurse asked. 

JoBeth nodded her head yes. She had heard the news of her husband’s shooting, but she hadn’t taken it in. Shelby was the only one who mattered. 

‘I’m afraid…’ the nurse looked at the children and then back at JoBeth, who read the cue and sent her children to the chairs in the corner of the room. ‘I’m afraid… he’s not going to make it.’ 

There was no response. Not even a blink. 

‘His injuries are catastrophic, Mrs Goodkind. I’m sorry but he won’t last the night.’ The nurse continued a little unnerved by the woman’s lack of reaction. She didn’t know what had brought the woman’s husband and daughter to her workplace, and had assumed that maybe there had been a break in gone wrong. 

‘Is he awake?’ JoBeth asked calmly. 

‘In and out,’ the nurse replied. ‘I’m sure he will be able to hear you, though.’ 

Her words came as great comfort to JoBeth Goodkind, just not in the way the nurse thought they had. 

‘Good,’ JoBeth said. ‘I need to know that he’ll hear every word.’


	9. Chapter 9

Bernice Blackburn was startled from her sleep by her phone ringing. It was past midnight, and she didn’t recognise the area code of the number calling. 

‘Hello?’ She asked cautiously, glad to know that her daughter was in the room next door. 

‘Mrs Blackburn?’ 

The man’s voice was deep and southern. Bernice knew instantly the call was about Toni. 

‘Yes?’ She replied slowly, sitting up in her bed. 

‘Ma’am, I’m calling regarding Toni Shalifoe. We have you down as her next of kin?’ 

‘Yes… Yes, she’s in my care. Is she in trouble?’ A call at this time was never good, Bernice knew. She assumed Toni had gotten into some sort of trouble with the police. 

‘I’m afraid there’s been an incident, Mrs Blackburn.’ 

Bernice sighed loudly and ran her hands through her hair before asking, ‘How much is her bail?’

‘I’m sorry Mrs Blackburn, I haven’t been clear. I’m calling from the hospital. Toni has been strangled.’ 

\------- 

‘Hey, Martha,’ Dot said softly as her call was answered.

‘Dot?’ Martha asked groggily. ‘What time is it? Are you guys drunk calling me?’ 

It was quiet. 

‘Dot?’ Martha asked again as she came to her senses. 

‘Martha, I… I-’ 

‘Is Toni there?’ Martha asked with more urgency, picking up on the hesitancy in Dot’s voice. ‘Put Toni on.’ 

The severity of the situation hadn’t hit Dot until she heard Martha’s voice. She’d been trying to keep it together, distract herself from what was actually happening. At the Goodkind’s house she’d been able to focus on trying to stop Shelby’s bleeding. Then she had been able to focus on directing Fatin to the hospital. Now, all she could see was the pool of blood Shelby had left. All she could hear was the desperation in the paramedic’s voice as they closed the ambulance door and drove Toni away. In hearing Martha’s voice, Dot was overwhelmed with fear. 

‘Dot?!’ Martha shouted down the line as she sat up in her bed. 

Fatin took the phone from Dot, who had just stopped moving altogether. 

‘Martha, it’s Fatin,’ the new voice said. ‘We’re in the hospital. S-Something’s happened with Toni and Shelby.’ 

Martha had never heard Fatin’s voice shake like it was in this moment. Even at her lowest points on the island, Fatin had sounded less scared than she did over the phone right now. Whatever had happened was serious, and Martha felt the blood rush to her head.

Before Martha could say another word, her bedroom door opened and her mom was stood in her doorway, crying softly. 

‘Mom…’ Martha cried. ‘What’s happening?’ 

Her mom was moving towards her, arms outstretched. 

‘Martha, sweetie. I need you to get up and dressed.’ 

\------

JoBeth Goodkind entered her husband’s hospital room, slowly closing the door behind her. The room was louder than she had anticipated; the beeping of machines constant and piercing. If she still loved the man lying on the bed before her, she would have been alarmed by the sight of him. An endless number of wires seemed to be attached to his body, and his face was almost completely covered by breathing equipment. She felt nothing. She sat on the chair next to her husband and took his hand. 

‘Dave, can you hear me?’ She asked softly. ‘Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, Dave.’ 

She felt a weak pressure on her fingers. She smiled. 

‘Dave, I want to thank you.’ 

He tightened his grip on her fingers. _What a good woman. Loyal. Obedient. He knew he had chosen his wife well._

‘Shelby is going to be fine. They both are.’ She lied, not yet knowing their fate. ‘They’ll both make full recoveries, Dave. Then they can finally be happy. They can finally be happy together.’ Her tone of voice had changed now, each word she said carrying a sting of venom. 

She felt Dave’s grip on her fingers loosen as he made an attempt to pull his hand away. She dug her nails into the back of his hand. 

‘I don’t know if this is Shelby’s forever person. But I do know this, Dave,’ she stood up and brought her mouth as close to his ear as she could get through all the wires. ‘Our daughter will live the life she wants to live, with whoever she wants to live it with. She has spent her whole life in fear of who she is. In fear of you, of the God you sold to her. Those days are over. They’re over thanks to you, Dave. Thanks to your sacrifice.’

She could feel him trying to move, twitching slightly. She laughed knowing that he’d try and kill her too if he could; another of his failings. 

‘You’re going to die soon, my love. I don’t know where you’ll end up exactly. Hell is too good for you. I do hope you can see us though, from your empire of dirt. I hope you’ll see how happy we’ll be. Spencer and Melody will never feel like we let Shelby feel. They’ll never suffer the way she has. They’ll grow up happy, knowing that they are loved for _exactly_ who they are; not who _you_ demand them to be.’ 

His constant twitching only instilled her with more power, the knowledge that he could hear every word driving her monologue on. 

‘You don’t believe in a God, Dave, you never have. You believe you are one. You’re not… you’re nothing but an evil son of a bitch, and you’re about to die alone, with no love in your life. You see, Shelby and I believe in a good God. A kind God. A God that loves those who love freely… And Spencer and Melody will grow up believing in a better God too. Whatever damage we’ve already done to Shelby, I will spend the rest of my life making up for. She will be happy, Dave. And that girl… that poor girl you tried to kill… she will be welcome. Welcome in our home, in our family. She will sit at your seat on the table. She will eat our food, the recipes passed down by your Grandmother.’

She was laughing now.

‘Shelby will be eighteen next month, and you’ll be dirt. All that money you’ve left her in your will, on top of the business you’ve left behind? God, I can only imagine what she’ll spend it on. Maybe she’ll get a nice flat with Toni in some big-shot city like New York. Whatever she does, it will be _her_ choice, _her_ life.’ 

Her nails dug deeper into his skin. Deep enough to draw blood.

‘So I want to thank you, Dave. For sacrificing yourself tonight. For saving this family… Saving us from you.’

She let go of his hand.

She let her lips get close enough to touch his ear, ‘You lose, Dave.’

\----

At 03:22 a.m., Dave Goodkind was pronounced dead. At 03:46 a.m., Shelby Goodkind opened her eyes. At 03:54 a.m., Toni Shalifoe started to convulse.


End file.
